Life Hack - The Resting Breath
What was that? I looked around the 5’x4′ cubicle walls, and heard a distant drip, drip as I smelled the dank musty air. The chair I sat on felt hard as stone. I hadn’t heard from another employee in the past 3 days with the exception of a faint tapping on my wall from prisoner– I mean, employee id number 4582749, who shared a cubicle wall with me. Wait. I closed my eyes, and there it was again. A man sat in silence with chains on his hands and feet clothed in a brown robe. He sat cross legged on a hard prison floor,... Read More
Ten of them stared hungrily at me. After three months, it all came down to this one meeting. One meeting and the opinions of the ten office zombies in this room. I needed 6 of them to agree with me in order to approve my project. The only problem:office zombies love to slaughter new ideas. I did my best to stack the deck in my favor. A dozen donuts, a dozen side conversations, and a dozen irrefutable facts. It seemed, however, the zombies found the donuts the most compelling reason for being involved. The donuts and perhaps the chance to tear my new... Read More
I’ll never forget that conversation. It was a rainy, humid day, 1496 days into my time in cubicle prison. I still had 5 months before I would leave to launch my new life.  Today they had me painting buildings along with about 20 others at the bottom of the food chain. We stood with paintbrushes in hand under the steely eye of the prison guard, Jessica Smith.  Nothing escaped her aviator-clad gaze. She paced back and forth eyeing us as we worked. I could feel her breath on the back of my neck as I painted. She gave the term watching paint dry a... Read More
  Warning Zombie Infection Zone How to stay motivated and keep dreaming while inside cubicle prison surrounded by office Zombies. The infection was still spreading. Over the first 6 months at my new job, I had turned my cubicle into a lab for testing treatments on myself. While observing the indigenous zombies, Prof and I developed dozens of habits, read books, meditated… but we still weren’t quite there. The treatment kept falling short. Even with all my work, the green, pale patch of skin continued to spread the zombie infection towards my heart. I needed a cure and fast. Then it finally came together.... Read More
Like most workplaces, I found myself surrounded by a large number of … well zombies. That’s what I’ll call them.  Zombie careerism runs rampant around us. Get a pay check. Work hard. Get a promotion. Rinse and repeat. Zombie Career: The Bite My personal zombie observation expedition started with my first interaction, on my first day, at my first grown-up job. I stood outside, looking at the bland, tan bricks of the government building I’d call my work home. Something felt off. My senses caught an eerie presence. With a deep breath, I brushed away the thought and entered. My purgatory was about to... Read More
The sugar white sand beach stretched out in front of me. Not one person in sight. This was my favorite spot because I was the only one who came here at 12pm on a Tuesday. I lugged my laptop bag and an umbrella across 100 yards of scorching beach sand until I reached my spot. Wow, what a view. I carefully laid down my towel and popped up a blue striped beach umbrella to protect my pasty, nearly translucent skin from the unforgiving Florida sun. Finally, after wiggling my butt to make a perfectly crafted imprint in the sand, I reached into my... Read More